The hypothetical case of the deaf child.
As her reason, she does not cite that the implant is imperfect, it's more like a mic than a human ear, placing background noise, hums and ticks, at the same level as say, speech. Instead she cites that the deaf community doesn't view deafness as a handicap but as a blessing. She makes something akin to, but not quite, the "sign language is beautiful and a beautiful linguistically-based culture" argument.
Her husband (Dr. Jackson Avery), speaking about a hypothetical child of theirs who is deaf, says that his kid would get the implant. That if he had the chance to give his kid the physical ability to hear, the joys of sound, he'd do it. She accuses him of pitying the deaf patient they treated earlier in the day because he can't understand.
Of course, the argument hints at the potentially faulty foundation of their relationship: how can they form a partnership to raise children if they're at odds about how they believe children should be raised. And not just regarding the slim chance their child would be deaf, but regarding a religious or non-religious upbringing -- something which neither of them want to compromise on.
Isn't my culture beautiful, too?
And never once does she understand the irony of what she just said.
When Avery (according to Kepner) pities the child because she can't hear, Kepner derides him for it. When Kepner pities Avery because he can't have faith, she... holds the moral highground?
The peoples of the world don't need your pity.
The ability to have that faith is a very real thing. Just like the ability to hear is a very real thing. Kepner makes the argument that the deaf culture, without the ability or desire to hear, is a beautiful culture . . . by the same logic, the atheist culture, the culture that has no "ability" or desire to believe, should also be a beautiful thing. Neither wants pity. Neither needs pity. Both are fully capable of leading meaningful, complicated, wonderful, rich lives. Of experiencing beauty and awe, of living good, moral, humanitarian existences, of making the world a better place, of creating and inspiring. And just because one person's sense of beauty comes from music or their sense of awe comes from god, does not mean that another person who cannot hear or does not believe cannot experience beauty or awe.
The parallelism is so blatant that I cannot help but think that the writers knew what they were doing in spite of the fact that there is no dialog that says, "If a life without sound can be beautiful, then why can't a life without your particular brand of religious dogma and/or god be beautiful?"
The marriage breaker? Or is Kepner being an asshole?
Kepner accuses her husband of thinking she's ridiculous because of her beliefs.
Yeah, your spouse thinking you're a ridiculous person is a deal breaker when it comes to a harmonious marriage.
But so is living in a marriage day after day knowing your spouse pities you for who you are.
Kepner: "Faith is believing in what you can't see."
Avery: "Your god is like our hypothetical deaf child, April: It's not real."
"I just feel sorry for you. You don't know how to believe in something you can't touch or feel, and that is so sad."
"So you pity me," he says.
"I do," she replies. "I really do."
These aren't deal breakers, these are hurdles. And it would be sad if Grey's Anatomy just shoves the whole thing in the bag as "it can't be successful" because we're seeing the same situation on Bones right now, and on Bones the couple Bones and Booth have figured out that marriage isn't about winning half the time and losing the other half so your spouse can win, it's about compromising so that neither wins completely and neither loses completely.
Where Grey's finds tragedy, Bones finds tolerance.
The Bones/Booth child will grow up knowing something that Kepner fears: She'll grow up knowing her parents strongly disagree.
But growing up knowing that people can think differently from each other and still get along isn't a tragedy, it's life.
It's a great means of learning how to weigh the situation and make your own decisions. To not believe dogma, or rumor, or opinion just because it's spoken by someone you love.
And it just might raise up children who can truly practice acceptance and tolerance, without all the pity.